After my marathon of a day last week--trying to get all our paperwork county certified and state certified in one day among 3 different counties, made me think "what am I doing?!" I was in such a excited rush to get things done that I almost let it get the better of me. (For a moment I felt like we were on the Amazing Race--one of our favorite reality shows--and I was, in my mind, racing to get us to the finish line = waiting list. To "beat" the other families. To be the best). When 5pm rolled around last Friday and Justin and I were standing in Fedex frantically making copies of every single document before their 6pm pick up we realized there was a mistake. Actually, two mistakes. And both meant we had to go back and make corrections before any of this could be mailed off. I felt my joy just bottom out and standing there in Fedex tears began welling up in my eyes. "Why can't people just do their jobs correctly??" is all I kept saying. I mean is it really that hard to type "Kathrine" or to copy the notaries name from one sheet to another?? We were both frustrated realizing that the day had been productive....just not productive enough. For us. But for this process? For what God desired for us to complete? It was fine. Actually, it was perfect.
Then have no care for tomorrow: tomorrow will take care of itself. Take the trouble of the day as it comes. Matthew 6:34Thankfully, I'm completely ok (and quite excited to be honest!) with where we're at with the checklist now, but it took me a while to move from my amped up gotta-get-it-done attitude to realizing that this isn't a race. No other family is going to "win" our son before we get there. We won't be late. In fact, we'll be just on time. It took a patient, humorous husband, two friends over the phone and a God that knows my deepest desires of my heart to remind me to step back and look at the whole picture. That there is a family, a man and a woman who are living life, just like me, doing their day to day activities and at some point there will be a child who comes into this picture.
"I knew you before I formed you in your mother's womb. Before you were born I set you apart...." Jeremiah 1:5I can't have any control over what she does today, or when our son is placed into the hands of the orphanage workers hands. Nope. Nothing I can do about that. What I can do is find peace and trust in this waiting process. And to not miss out on this season of our life, right now, where God has called us to be.
A week later, I'm getting ready to go wrap up those previous "mistakes" and send those off to St. Louis where our adoption coordinator will bundle them together and have them couriered off to Washington D.C. And then, we will officially have all our paper work turned in! (YES!!..it feels good hear "well done"!) Next step: waiting list. And, again I'm sure I'll have to practice giving my plans and agenda over to the Lord as we joyfully wait to hear from Sharon from Children's Hope. In the mean time though, we've got lots of great things going on with family and friends that we just can't wait to be apart of!!! Have a great weekend!
In His Grip,
Kati & Justin